Today was the first day of the rest of my life! I sat down after years of running and spoke to a therapist. For years, I had this mindset that sitting down with one would make me weak, that I wouldn’t be looked as strong, that pouring out my whole life story to someone would just be another excuse to keep me from doing what it is I’m supposed to do in life.

Boy was I wrong. Sitting in that office for just one hour and my therapist getting to know me and why I even ended up in her office made me realize just how strong I truly am. It took courage to make it that far, but as I’m sitting back at home typing this, I’m hoping that as I do occasional blogs about my journey, that it encourages someone else to take that step as well. Too often in the black society, we are told TO NOT see a therapist! We are supposed to be hush, hush about everything that has happened to us, we aren’t supposed to have folks in our business, and later in life when you’re put in similar situations, or you end up with toxic associations when you get triggered you no longer know how to cope. As black women, we’re called the angry black woman, and no one ever took the time to help us cope with the wrongful things done to us as children, the toxic relationship with men and jealous females, the betrayals, the failures, the lack of anyone seeing just how much we’re truly worth. We never seek help, and we end up stagnant and held back in life and well sweetheart that’s not God’s plan. That’s just a formula for more chaos, stress, anger, rage, disappointment, and anxiety/depression!

When my therapist told me I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in my head I’m like, “No, I’ve never been to war.” But I have, I’ve been at war with myself, at war with my life, at war with walking in my true potential.

This entire time, I have forgotten about my authority and given it to the wrong things and the wrong people throughout my life. The traumatic things that I’ve been running from, trying to bury, letting hurt me, it was somewhat my fault, but it caused damage, but I can beat it.

It’s not going to be an easy journey for me, but after celebrating my 34th birthday yesterday, all I know is I’m ready for PERMANENT CHANGE! I am ready to tell my past it has no power, that me and God got this and it’s distractions are no longer needed.

Luke 10:19 comes to mind as I type this, and no matter what offenses were done to me thoughout my life, what traumatic things that happened replay in my mind, I HAVE THE POWER to switch the narrative. I have the AUTHORITY to take control of my life and not be paralyzed by anxiety, depression, rage, and the lack of self confidence that played in my mind anymore.

I am not how anyone treated me, I am not the amount in my bank account, I am not all those things they’ve called me, I am not the bad situation I was in, I am not a victim, I am not less than!

I am a child of God born on 7/7 and regardless of the tests God put me through in my life, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am complete, I am an authority in the kingdom, I am bold, I am courageous, I have victory, I am an atmosphere changer, I am more than enough, I am worth more than rubies, my birthstone, by the way, I am smart, I am powerful, I am a leader, I am beautiful and my list goes on and on! See today was the first day of the rest of my life, but I declare and decree on this day that the Past has no power. And if you’re reading this and questioning that statement, arguing and saying it does, well it’s time for you to book a therapist, get closer to God and just know as you face the traumatic events in your life, eventually, you’ll come back and agree with me because it can only hold the power you choose to give it. Who/what are you giving your power to?